“वहिनी घरी बसून हिला काही काम असेल तर सांगा ना..”
तो माणूस पोटतिडकीने मला सांगत होता. त्याच्या बायकोला काहीतरी कामाला लावावं म्हणून त्याची धडपड सुरू होती.
संध्याकाळी माझी स्वयंपाकाची गडबड सुरू होती, लवकर स्वयंपाक करून लवकर जेवणं व्हायला हवी असा माझा आग्रह असतो, नेमके याच वेळी ते भेटायला आले, लग्न होऊन 2-3 वर्ष झाली असतील त्यांना, येताच त्यांना दिवाणखान्यात बसायला लावलं आणि बोलता बोलता कामही उरकावं म्हणून त्यांना लसूण घेऊन त्यांच्यासमोर बसले..मला असं बघताच तो त्याच्या बायकोला काहीतरी खुणावू लागला..आणि ती मात्र अपराधी पणाने फक्त बघत होती. मी विचारलं,
“ताईचं शिक्षण काय झालं आहे?”
“Bcs झालंय, लग्ना आधी नोकरी करायची ती..आता काहीतरी काम बघतेय..”
“मग आपल्या शहरात आहेत की बऱ्याच नोकऱ्या, कुठेही मिळून जाईल..”
“आठ-आठ तास बाहेर पाठवायचं नाहीये म्हणून तर, घरात बसूनच काहीतरी काम असेल तर सांगा..म्हणजे घराकडेही लक्ष राहील आणि कामही करेल..”
एकंदरीत सर्व मुद्दा माझ्या लक्षात आला..त्या माणसाचा खरं तर मला रागच आलेला, पण माझ्या परिने काही मदत करूया असं ठरवलं..
“तुम्हाला घरून काम हवं असेल तर काही freelancing साइट्स वर जाऊन अप्लाय करा, तुमचं आधीचं काम त्यांना दाखवा, तुम्हाला जमेल त्या त्या सर्व जॉब्स साठी apply करा..”
हे ऐकून ती गोंधळली….
“अगं काही अवघड नाहीये, मी तुला साइट्स ची लिंक देते, तिथे account open कर .”
तिने नाक मुरडलं आणि मला म्हणाली,
“वहिनी तुम्हीच असे जॉब शोधून मला देत जा ना, मी करेन ते..”
म्हणजे तिला स्वतः हातपाय हलवायचे नव्हतेच, आणि मी जॉब शोधून तिला देणं यात माझा किती वेळ खर्ची होईल याचा ती विचारच करत नव्हती..शेवटी मी म्हणाले,
“भाऊ, तुम्ही घरून काम करण्याचा हट्ट नका धरू, तिचा स्वभाव एखाद्या चांगल्या टीम सोबत काम करण्याचा आहे, कुणीतरी दिलेलं काम पूर्ण करण्याचा तिचा स्वभाव आहे..तिला बाहेर पडू द्या..”
“वहिनी तुम्ही नाही का घरूनच काम करून महिन्याला इतके कमावताय, 24 तास घरीच असतात तुम्ही, तरीही कमाई चालू आहे…म्हणूनच तर तुमच्याकडे आणलं मी हिला..आता हेच बघा ना, तुम्ही आमच्याशी बोलत असतानाही दुसऱ्या हाताने काम करताय, असं दोन्ही गोष्टी सांभाळता आल्या पाहिजेत..”
तो आपल्या बायकोला काय खुणावत होता हे माझ्या लक्षात आलं..आणि हे ऐकून माझा संताप झाला, पण स्वतःवर ताबा ठेऊन त्यांना म्हणाले-
“बरं मी बघते आणि कळवते..”
ते जोडपं निघून गेलं. पण त्या माणसाच्या विचारांचा मला खूप राग आलेला..त्याने माझं उदाहरण समोर ठेऊन त्याच्या बायकोला माझ्याकडे आणलेलं.
लग्नानंतर वर्षभर मी नोकरी केली, पण माझा स्वभावच मुळात असा की कुणाच्या हाताखाली काम करणं मला आवडत नसे, स्वतःच्या मालकीचं काहीतरी काम असावं असं मला वाटायचं, मग खूप रिसर्च करून मी घरबसल्या काही कामं मिळवत गेले, आणि त्यातून कमाई चांगली होऊ लागली, नोकरी चा असंही कंटाळा आलेला, मग पूर्णवेळ हेच काम करत गेले. नोकरी साठी घरून मला कुणाचाही दबाव नव्हता, करायची तर कर नाहीतर दुसरं काहीही कर असा सर्वांचा पवित्रा…पण आलेल्या जोडप्याला हे समजत नव्हतं की मी माझ्या मर्जीने हे काम करत आहे. घरकाम व्हावं, घरात पूर्ण लक्ष असावं म्हणून मी घरून काम करत नव्हते, असंही घरात सर्व कामाला बाया होत्या..घरात फारसं काही काम नव्हतंच..पण तरी ती माझी चॉईस होती..
समाजातील अशी मंडळी स्त्री कडून खरंच हीच अपेक्षा ठेवतात, की तिने घरकाम उत्तम करावं आणि सोबतच चार पैसे कमवावे. पैसे कमावण्यासाठी बाईने बाहेर पडणं त्यांना मान्यच नसतं. घरकामाला बाई ठेऊन तिचा खर्च उचलणं हेही मान्य नसतं, घरात सासूबाई मोलकरणीला नाकारतात, मी करेन असा हट्ट धरतात मग वयोमानाने झेपत नाही…मग अश्यात ती बायको अडकते, मोलकरीणही नको आणि आईला कामं झेपत नाही..थोडक्यात तुलाच सगळी कामं करावी लागतील असा दबाव… आम्ही आधुनिक आहोत, बायको साठी काम बघतोय असं एका बाजूला म्हणतात पण दुसरीकडे “घरूनच काहीतरी काम द्या” या विचाराने तिला पुन्हा चार चौकटीत अडकवून ठेवतात.
प्रत्येकाची कामाकडे बघण्याची पद्धत वेगळी असते, काही स्त्रियांना स्वतःचं काहीतरी काम हवं असं वाटतं तर काहींना एखाद्या नावाजलेल्या टीम मध्ये आपलं योगदान देण्याची इच्छा असते. तिने तिच्या स्वभावानुसार काम निवडावं, पण तिने घरकाम आणि घरात बसूनच जॉब करावा असा अट्टहास असलेले नवरे कमी नाहीत.
आपल्या साथीदाराचा स्वभाव ओळखून त्याला अनुकूल अश्या वातावरणात काम करण्याची प्रेरणा देणं आणि त्याच्या जीवनविकासाला पूरक अशी साथ देणं महत्वाचं असतं, पण “घरी बसून काम द्या” असा काहींचा आग्रह असेल तर त्यात जोडीदाराची साथ नसून त्याचा स्वार्थ जास्त आहे, तो स्त्रीकडून दुप्पट कामाची अपेक्षा करतो, घरकामात सूट नाही, त्याला पर्याय शोधून देणं नाही.. घराला सोडायचं नाही,पण तरीही बाहेरची कामं करून पैसे घरात आणावे हा स्वार्थ नाही तर अजून काय?
बरं चला घरात बसून काम दिलं तर किती स्त्रियांना किमान सलग 3 तास काम करता येईल? मधेच कुणीतरी आवाज देईल, मधेच कुणी पाहुणा येईल, मधेच एखाद्याला चहा पाणी नाष्टा… मग काम होणार कधी? आणि मग काम झालं नाही की तिच्यावरच अजून आरोप, तुला काम दिलं तरी तुला जमत नाही…पण तिला समजून न घेता multitasking ची अवास्तव अपेक्षा करणं हेच सगळीकडे दिसत आलंय.
परिस्थिती अगदीच तशी असेल की घर सोडणं अशक्य आहे तर मुद्दा वेगळा..पण किती माणसं आपल्या बायकोला बाहेर पडावं, जग बघावं, प्रगती करावी म्हणून हिम्मत देतात? उलट आता तुझं लग्न झालंय, तुझ्यावर जबाबदारी आहे, घराकडे लक्ष द्यायला हवं, माझ्या आई बाबांकडे पाहायला हवं अशी कर्तव्य तिच्यावर लादून स्वतःला सुरक्षित करून देण्याकडे यांचा कल असतो…याउलट पुरुषांनी म्हणायला हवं,
“आपण दोघेही बाहेर पडू, घरातलं सर्व दोघांनी मिळून करत जाऊ, आल्यावर दोघांनी मिळून जेवणाची तयारी करत जाऊ, माझ्या प्रमाणे तुलाही बाहेर पडण्याचा, स्वतःची प्रगती करण्याचा अधिकार आहे..”
अर्थात अशी मंडळी आहेतच, बरेच पुरुष या बाबतीत आपल्या बायकोला पुरेपूर साथ देतात..पण “घरात बसून काहीतरी काम असेल तर द्या” असं जर कुणी म्हणायला लागलं तर त्याच्या मागच्या मानसिकतेला मुळासकट उखडून टाकणं आजच्या वेळेला महत्वाचं आहे..
काय वाटतं तुम्हाला? मोकळेपणाने सांगा..
©संजना इंगळे
Very true
अगदी बरोबर आहे. तिला योग्य ती संधी दिली पाहिजे आणि घरच्यांनी तिला पूर्ण पाठिंबा दिला पाहिजे.
Kharach ahe dhognihi milun kam kel tarach ghar chalvata yete
Correct.
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Tine te shodhal tr ….
Mla vatat nahi ki tyane gharkam krave mhnun work from job shodhat asel…
Tichi mansikta ttachya pekshya kunala jast mahiti
Tichi kam kraychi echhyach disat nahi mulat …mhnun ha paryay shodhla asel…
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