“सुरेखा,तू खरचं खूप भाग्यवान आहेस बाई.. तुझी दोन्ही मुलं खूप संस्कारी आहेत.अभ्यासातही हुशार आहे आणि त्यांच्या वागण्यात,बोलण्यात किती नम्रपणा,आपलेपणा जाणवतो.तुझा सर्वेश शिक्षण घेता घेता वडिलांना त्यांच्या व्यवसायात मदतही करत असतो आणि तुझी प्रिया दिसायला छान आहेस पण घरातील सर्व कामे किती पटापट करते. आजी-आजोबांची काळजी घेते.लग्न करून ज्या घरी जाईल तिथे आनंदच देईल.मुलगी म्हणून या घराची जशी काळजी घेते तशीच सून म्हणून सासरचीही काळजी घेईल.”सुरेखाची मैत्रीण सुरेखाला म्हणत होती.”तुझं म्हणणं खरं आहे. माझी दोन्ही मुलं खूप चांगली आहेत. आईवडील म्हणून आम्ही केलेले संस्कार कामी येत आहेत यातच खूप आनंद आहे.आतापर्यंत तरी सर्व व्यवस्थित आहे. पण भविष्यात काय होईल? हे आताच थोडी सांगता येते.सून कशी मिळेल? मुलीला सासर कसे मिळेल?हे आपण आताच कसे सांगू शकू?” – सुरेखा म्हणाली.”हो..ते पण आहेच म्हणा काही गोष्टी आपल्या हातात नसतात ..समोरच्या व्यक्तिंवर किंवा परिस्थितीवरही अवलंबून असते.” – सुरेखाच्या मैत्रीणीने सुरेखाच्या म्हणण्याला दुजोरा दिला.
सुरेखाच्या मैत्रीणीप्रमाणेच तिचे शेजारी, नातेवाईक, मित्रमंडळी हे देखील सुरेखाच्या दोन्ही मुलांचे खूप कौतुक करायचे. हे कौतुक ऐकून सुरेखा व तिच्या मिस्टरांना खूप आनंद व्हायचा व अभिमानही वाटायचा. सुरेखा व तिचे मिस्टर दोघेही स्वभावाने प्रेमळ होते.आईवडिलांची काळजी घ्यायचे,येणाऱ्या-जाणाऱ्यांचे छान आदरातिथ्य करायचे.नातेवाईक, शेजारी, ओळखीचे अशा सर्वांच्या सुखदुःखाला धावून जायचे.साहजिकच या सर्वांचा त्यांच्या मुलांवरही चांगला परिणाम होत होता. चांगले संस्कार त्यांच्यावर रूजले जात होते.
प्रियाने M.Com. पूर्ण केले आणि तिच्यासाठी वरसंशोधन सुरू झाले. आपल्या मुलीला सासर चांगले मिळावे अशीच सर्व आईवडिलांची इच्छा असते आणि त्यासाठी ते प्रयत्नही करत असतात. प्रियाचे आईवडीलही याच प्रयत्नात होते की, प्रियाला चांगले सासर मिळावे; जेणेकरून लग्नानंतर ती सुखाने,समाधानाने राहील.प्रियाला बघण्यास येणाऱ्या मुलांना प्रिया आवडत होती;पण कुठे गोत्र,कुठे नाडी दोष तर कुठे गुण जुळत नव्हते. या ना त्या कारणाने संबंध जुळायला अडचण येत होती.घाई करून लगेच लग्न ठरवण्यापेक्षा, वेळ लागला तरी चालेल पण चांगल्याच ठिकाणी आणि सर्व योग्य जुळून आले, तरच लग्नाचा विचार करू.असे प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनी ठरवले होते.आणि शेवटी, त्यांनी ठरवले तसेच झाले.मनासारखे स्थळ मिळाले. मुलगा कॉलेजमध्ये प्राध्यापक होता.दिसायला प्रियाला अनुरूप असाच! प्रियालाही मुलगा आवडला होता.मनासारखे स्थळ मिळाल्यामुळे प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांना आनंद झाला होता.प्रियाही खूप खुश होती.15 दिवसांनी एंगेजमेंट चा कार्यक्रम करण्याचे ठरले.
प्रियाचे आईबाबा,भाऊ उत्साहाने कार्यक्रमाची तयारी करू लागले.
छोटासाच पण छान असा एंगेजमेंटचा कार्यक्रम पार पडला.लग्नाची तारीख मार्च महिन्यातील निघाली.लग्नाला 3 महिने बाकी होते; त्यामुळे लग्नाच्या तयारीला बराच वेळ मिळणार होता.पण तरीही वेळेवर काही कमी पडू नये,घाई होऊ नये यासाठी दोन्हीकडे हळूहळू लग्नाची तयारी सुरू केली होती.दोन्ही घरी आनंदाचे वातावरण होते.पण या आनंदात दुःखाचे विरजण पडले.कोरोना वाढल्याने सरकार मार्च महिन्यात लॉकडाउन लावणार होते. लग्न जरी मार्चच्या पहिल्या आठवड्यात होते तरी ; कोणताही कार्यक्रम मोठ्या प्रमाणात करणे धोक्याचे होते आणि नातेवाईक वगैरेही यायला तयार नव्हते.लग्नाची तारीख नंतरची काढायची ठरवली तर..किती दिवस.. किती महिने ..की वर्ष? वाट पाहवी लागेल…त्यामुळे ठरलेल्या तारखेलाच दोन्ही घरातील लोक व काही मोजके लोक यांच्या उपस्थितीत प्रिया व शैलेशचे लग्न झाले.प्रियाच्या व शैलेशच्या ही नातेवाईकांना, मित्रमंडळींना लग्नाला येण्याची खूप हौस होती.प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनाही प्रियाचे लग्न थाटामाटात करण्याची हौस होती; पण लग्न इतक्या साधेपणाने होईल …अशी कोणालाच कल्पना नव्हती.
लग्न करून प्रिया सासरी आली. सत्यनारायणाची पूजा वगैरे सर्व थोडक्यात झाले. कोरोनामुळे प्रिया व शैलेश कुठे फिरायलाही जाणार नव्हते.
लॉकडाउन लागण्यापूर्वी प्रिया रीतीरिवाजाप्रमाणे माहेरी जाऊन आली.आईवडिलांनी आपल्या लाडक्या प्रियाला सुखाच्या संसारासाठी आशीर्वाद दिले आणि आपल्या चांगल्या संस्कारांची शिदोरीही तिच्या बरोबर दिली. सासुरवाशीण प्रिया आपल्या सासरी संसाराला लागली.क्रमशःनलिनी बहाळकर
प्रियाची लग्नानंतरची पहिली दिवाळी होती. सासरी लक्ष्मीपूजन झाल्यानंतर प्रिया व शैलेश प्रियाच्या माहेरी आले.प्रियाच्या आईबाबांनी प्रिया व जावईबापूंना कपडे, भेटवस्तू देऊन छान आदरातिथ्य केले.खूप महिन्यांनी प्रिया माहेरी आली होती आणि थोड्याच दिवसात तिच्या चुलत बहिणीचे लग्न होते; त्यामुळे ती माहेरीच राहिली व शैलेश त्याच्या घरी गेला.शैलेशच्या जवळच्या मित्राचे लग्न होते म्हणून तो प्रियाच्या बहिणीच्या लग्नाला आला नाही व प्रियानेही त्याला येण्याचा जास्त आग्रह केला नाही.
बहिणीचे लग्न छान व्यवस्थित पार पडल्यानंतर प्रियाने आईबाबांना सांगितले,”मला आता सासरी जायचे नाही. मी इथेच राहणार.”तिने सांगितलेले ऐकल्यावर तिच्या आईबाबांना आश्चर्याचा धक्काच बसला.”का गं प्रिया, काय झाले?” सर्व तर चांगले आहे. काही त्रास आहे का तुला? तू मनमोकळेपणाने सांग.”- आईबाबा तिला धीर देत म्हणाले.”वरवर जरी तुम्हांला सर्व चांगले दिसत असले तरी माझे मन आनंदी,समाधानी नाही.तिथे माझ्या भावभावनांचा कोंडमारा होत होता.सून म्हणून,पत्नी म्हणून मी माझे काम व्यवस्थित करत होती.कुठेही कमी पडत नव्हती. तुम्ही केलेले संस्कार पूर्णपणे जपण्याचा प्रयत्न मी करत होती.सासूबाईंचे तर जाऊ द्या पण यांनी सुद्धा माझ्याबद्दल काही चांगले बोलल्याचे आठवत नाही. उलट मुद्दाम काहीतरी, कुठेतरी चूक काढायचे.’भाजी छान झाली आहे पण..आई बनवते तशी झालीच नाही.पुरणपोळी खावी तर आईच्या च हाताची. शिरा तर आई काय छान बनवते! ….’असे बोलून हे आईचे कौतुक करत होते की मला काही येत नाही हे ऐकवत होते?
‘माझ्या शैलेशला असेच आवडते…हेच आवडते, ते नाही आवडत …ते तर मुळीच आवडत नाही..’
सासूबाईंचे दिवसातून एकदा तरी असे वाक्य ठरलेले होते.शैलेशच्या वडिलांच्या निधनानंतर त्यांच्या आईनेच शैलेश व त्यांच्या लहान भावाला वाढवले. आई व वडील अशा दोन्ही भूमिका व्यवस्थित सांभाळल्या.या गोष्टीचा शैलेशला जितका त्यांच्या आईचा अभिमान वाटतो तितकाच.. किंबहुना त्यापेक्षा जास्त अभिमान मला वाटतो.आणि मी त्यांचा आदरही करते.एक मुलगा म्हणून ते आईची काळजी घेतात हे चांगलेच आहे पण;पत्नी या नात्याने माझाही शैलेशवर काहीतरी हक्क आहे ना?माझ्याही त्यांच्याकडून काही अपेक्षा असतील ना? मुलाचे लग्न झाल्यावर आईवडिलांचा मुलांवरील हक्क, त्यांच्यावरील प्रेम थोडीच कमी होते..पण लग्नानंतर बायको घरात आल्यावर तिचीही जबाबदारी वाढते.तिलाही मन असते,भावभावना असतात. हे सासरच्या लोकांनी समजून घ्यायला हवे ना? नका तिचे जास्त कौतुक करा पण वाईट तरी म्हणू नका.आईवरही प्रेम करा पण बायकोलाही थोडे प्रेम द्या.ज्या घरात मला काही किंमत नाही तेथे मी कशी राहू? तुम्हीच सांगा?”प्रियाचे हे बोलणे ऐकल्यावर,”तू आम्हांला फोनवर याविषयी काही बोलली नाही.” असे प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनी तिला विचारले.”मी अनेकदा फोनवर आपल्याला हे सांगण्याचा प्रयत्न केला;पण कोरोनामुळे पूर्णवेळ सर्वजण घरातच होते आणि फोनवर मी तुमच्याशी बोलत असताना, यांचे किंवा आईंचे कान माझ्या बोलण्याकडेच असायचे.त्यामुळे मी काही सांगू शकली नाही. कधी एकदाची मी इकडे येते असे मला झाले होते.”प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनी तिचे म्हणणे शांतपणे ऐकून घेतले,तिला तिचे मन मोकळे करू दिले. आणि
“आपण काहीतरी मार्ग काढू.” असे सांगून तिला समजावून सांगितले.
शैलेशने प्रियाला ‘इकडे कधी येते आहे?’ असे फोन करून विचारल्यावर,”अजून नाही येणार…थोडे दिवस इकडेच थांबणार आहे.”असे प्रिया सांगायची.काही दिवसांनी प्रियाने शैलेशचा व सासूबाईंचा फोन घेणेही बंद केले.शैलेशने जेव्हा याबाबतीत प्रियाच्या वडिलांना विचारले तेव्हा..”एकदा प्रत्यक्ष भेटू आणि याविषयी बोलू.” असे सांगितले.याविषयावर बोलण्यासाठी प्रियाच्या वडिलांनी आपल्या भावांची,प्रियाच्या मामांची व काही मध्यस्थी लोकांची मदत घेतली, त्यांचे मत विचारले. त्यांना प्रियाचे काय म्हणणे आहे ते सांगितले.प्रियाने सांगितलेले ऐकल्यावर तर काहींनी ‘प्रियाला तिकडे पाठवूच नका.घटस्फोट घेऊन टाका. आपल्या प्रियासाठी आपण दुसरा मुलगा शोधू.आपल्या मुलीची काही चूक नसताना आपण का त्रास सहन करायचा. सासुरवास करणाऱ्या लोकांना धडा शिकवलाच पाहिजे…’असे सल्ले दिले.तर काहींनी ‘एकदा सासरच्या लोकांना समजावून पाहू.आणि नाही काही फरक पडला तर मग पुढे बघू.’ असे सांगितले.क्रमशःनलिनी बहाळकर
‘सुनांचे जास्त कौतुक करू नये,त्यांना धाकात नाही ठेवले तर ..त्या आपल्याच डोक्यावर बसतात आणि मग नंतर आपल्यालाच त्याचा त्रास होतो.गोड गोड बोलून त्या आपल्या मुलांना कधी आपल्यापासून दूर करतात. हे कळतही नाही. त्यामुळे सुरूवातीपासूनच सुनेशी सासूप्रमाणेच वागावे.’असे मैत्रीणींनी दिलेले सल्ले ऐकलेले होते आणि काही इकडच्या तिकडच्या ‘घर घर की कहाणी’ प्रमाणे सासू सुनांच्या गोष्टी ऐकलेल्या होत्या.त्यामुळे मी ही प्रियाशी सासूप्रमाणे वागू लागली.आपला शैलेश आपल्यापासून खरचं दूर जाईल का?नेहमी मनात असा विचार यायचा. पण शैलेश हा प्रियाचा नवराही आहे. त्याच्यावर तिचाही हक्क आहे. हा विचार मनात एकदाही आला नाही.प्रिया खरचं खूप छान स्वयंपाक बनवायची;पण मी मुद्दामच त्यात चुका काढायची.प्रियाला या गोष्टीचे वाईट वाटत असेल..असे माझ्या मनाला का जाणवले नाही? मी स्वतः तर तिच्याशी चांगली वागली नाही आणि शैलेशला ही तिच्याशी चांगली वागण्याची कधी संधी दिली नाही. कारण इतर सासू-सुनांच्या गोष्टी ऐकून,मैत्रीणींचे सल्ले ऐकून माझे मन कलुषित झाले होते.आपल्या वागण्याचा प्रियाला रागही येत असेल पण ; तिने कधी आपल्याला तसे जाणवू दिले नाही. ती तिचे कर्तव्य व्यवस्थित पार पाडत होती.कदाचित आपल्या व शैलेशच्या वागणुकीला कंटाळून ती आता इकडे येण्यास तयार नसावी.प्रिया सारख्या सुशील,संस्कारी सुनेला आपण घरी आणण्याचा नक्की प्रयत्न करू.’
प्रियाच्या सासूबाईंना आपल्या वागणुकीचा पश्चाताप होत होता.
शैलेशलाही आपण चुकत होतो. हे समजून आले होते. प्रियाला पुन्हा इकडे आणण्यासाठी आपण आईशी बोलू असे त्याने ठरवले.आईचे व शैलेशचे त्याबाबतीत बोलणे झाले आणि मध्यस्थांच्या मदतीने प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांशी बोलू .असा त्यांनी निर्णय घेतला.इकडे प्रियाच्या मनातही अनेक विचार येत होते, ‘आपण तिकडे सासरी नाही गेलो..घटस्फोट घेतला ..तर पुढे काय करायचे ? नाही म्हटले तरी आईवडिलांना आपले टेंशन येईलच आणि त्यांना त्रास झालेला मला आवडणार नाही. अजून भावाचेही लग्न राहिले आहे. माझ्यामुळे त्याच्या लग्नाला काही प्रॉब्लेम नको यायला.समजा झालेही लग्न ..आणि येणारी वहिनी चांगली असली तर ठिक ,नाही तर माझ्या मुळे भावाच्या संसारात वादविवाद व्हायचे.स्वतः वेगळे राहून,नोकरी करून स्वतंत्र राहिले तरी समाजाच्या आपल्याकडे बघण्याच्या नजरा चांगल्याच असतील कशावरून? दुसरे लग्न केले आणि ते करूनही जर अजून प्रॉब्लेम वाढले म्हणजे ..आगीतून फुफाट्यात जाण्यासारखे होईल.
त्यामुळे एकदम टोकाची भूमिका घेण्यापेक्षा आहे त्या परिस्थितीतून मार्ग काढण्यासाठी ..एक संधी म्हणून मी सासरी राहून बघते. काही चांगला बदल वाटला तर छानच ..आणि नाही काही झाला तर…मग बघू पुढे काय करायचे ते..’प्रियाला सासरी पाठवावे किंवा नाही याविषयी इतरांकडून वेगवेगळे सल्ले मिळत होते.काहींनी प्रियाला सासरी पाठवूच नका तर काहींनी एक संधी म्हणून प्रियाला सासरी पाठवण्यास सांगितले होते.प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनी प्रियाला सांगितले.”प्रिया, ऐकावे जनाचे करावे मनाचे या म्हणीप्रमाणे -तू ही तुझ्या मनाला जे योग्य वाटते तेचं करं. आमच्या सर्वांचे काम फक्त समजवण्याचे,सांगण्याचे,सल्ले देण्याचे आहे. पण त्या घरात तुला राहायचे आहे ; त्यामुळे निर्णय तुलाच घ्यायचा आहे.सर्वच गोष्टी आपल्या मनासारख्या होत नसतात, मनासारख्या मिळतही नसतात..कुठेतरी,काहीतरी ऍडजस्टमेंट करावीच लागते. पण सासरी खूप त्रास होत असेल तर तू लगेच माहेरी येऊ शकते.आम्ही तुला मदतच करू.आताही तू सासरी जावे.असे आम्ही सांगत नाही. तू जो निर्णय घेणार तो आम्हांला मान्य आहे. आमचा तुझ्यावर ,आमच्या संस्कारांवर पूर्ण विश्वास आहे.”
आईवडिलांनी छान समजून सांगितले आणि आपले मनही आपल्याला सासरी जाण्यास सांगत आहे. या विचाराने प्रियाने सासरी जाण्याचे ठरवले.प्रियाच्या आयुष्यात भविष्यात पुन्हा कधी असा प्रसंग येऊ नये. असा आशीर्वाद देऊन प्रियाच्या आईवडिलांनी प्रियाला सासरी पाठवले.प्रिया आपल्या घरी आल्यामुळे सासूबाईं व शैलेशला खूप आनंद झाला होता.इतरांचे चुकीचे सल्ले ऐकून आपल्या घरात दुःख निर्माण करण्यापेक्षा आपल्या मनाला जे योग्य वाटते..तेचं करावे आणि घरात आनंद आणावा. हे त्यांना कळाले होते आणि’ऐकावे जनाचे करावे मनाचे’ या म्हणीची प्रचितीही आली होती.समाप्तनलिनी बहाळकर
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